THE LIGHT IS COMING CLOSER…. You know why? Because I only have one final left AND I go to Orlando in less than three weeks!! I am so very excited!!! I need to get out of this seemingly never ending polar vortex that is central Canada.
My finals have gone well so far… I blew one of them out of the water with a 100%… And the others I haven’t gotten my marks back yet.
I’ve done so well this semester. This semester… In fact this whole 2nd year of university… was great!! I made new friends in class, I skipped a whole week and a half of one class and still managed to get A’s (I don’t regret skipping a whole week and a half… Not at all). I mentored… I branched out a bit.
Growing up is hard sometimes, but in all honesty, if you take it moment by moment it isn’t too bad.
So, intuitive eating…… I have been doing it for over a month now. I LOVE IT. I checked my weight two weeks ago and I had actually lost weight, but all that means is that I’m back to the weight I was before Christmas. Which is fab! However, I’m telling myself that the number doesn’t matter…. Because it doesn’t. I feel great, and free again… And that’s what matters. And I feel healthy…. I’m eating what I want.. And that includes all sorts of healthy food! I love healthy food now more than I did when I was counting calories.
I love my oatmeal, bananas, Greek yogurt, apples, salads, chicken, carrots…. Oh and I went on a huge cauliflower kick… Loving cauliflower is something I never thought I would do.
But I’m not a big fast food person, or someone who likes greasy food often. I realized that when my family has gotten dominos three times in the past month, and not once did I ACTUALLY want a piece… So I didn’t have any. It wasn’t because I was scared of “gaining weight”, or “being unhealthy”, it was that I just didn’t feel like having greasy pizza. Granted, if it was the kind of pizza from another place that is my FAVOURITE, then I would have devoured it! I’m learning to trust my bodies cues. Some nights I want an apple and carrots, other nights I want this delicious oatmeal fudge bar my grandma made….. Or the delicious pumpkin pie that’s in our fridge.
I look back at me counting calories and I think “what a disaster”. Well, I mean, counting calories helped me lose over 115 pounds, and for that it was useful… But the last couple months that I was calorie counting was more damaging than anything.
It hasn’t been easy to let go of past habits… And sometimes I find myself worrying about food. But it’s okay…. I’m so much better now that I was a month ago. It is amazing what you can do when you set your mind towards something. I feel empowered.
We had Easter dinner tonight — ham and scalloped potatoes — I previously would have used Easter as an excuse to binge…. But did I tonight? No.
Did I eat what I really wanted? Yes
Did I overeat or feel like I missed out on anything? No
Did I still have pie? Yes!!!!!
Was everything delicious? YES!
I feel as if I’m a little kid who got their training wheels taken off their bike and now is riding on two wheels… “I’m doing it I’m doing it!!!!”
I have a good support system who encourages me… I’m so grateful for them.
I did Pilates the other night for the first time in years…. And it was enjoyable. Lately I’ve been finding workouts that focus on muscle strength… Not intense cardio like I used to do all the time.
Life is interesting…. But everything makes us stronger.